Empathy: A Key Ingredient to a Safe, Professional Workplace
This article was published in Volume 13, Edition 6 of Workplace Violence Today
People have an intrinsic desire to be heard and understood—to feel seen. Arguably, many conflicts and divisions currently being experienced in society are attributable to people not feeling heard and understood. When considering workplace violence, it’s common understanding that violence often begins from some kind of grievance or injustice, whether real or perceived. Some grievances are the result of not being heard and understood. While there are a host of things that need to be done to reverse the trend of increasing violence, empathy is a key ingredient.
A Framework for Empathy
A definitive framework of empathy is prudent. Merriam-Webster defines empathy as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” The key word in the definition is action. Some definitions of empathy include sharing in one’s feelings or experience. While sharing the feelings of another may be a component of empathy, it’s not needed, and could even limit the effectiveness of helping someone feel heard and understood. Nor does it require agreement. Regardless of shared feelings or agreement being present, individuals can still be heard and understood through the effective application of empathy. When considered as an action or usable skill, empathy is one’s ability to articulate someone’s perspective, feelings, and/or experience back to them. Therefore, it’s not solely feeling or personally recognizing understanding of another. It demonstrates that understanding by communicating the world as they see it—thereby facilitating an individual feeling heard and understood.
How to Employ Empathy
Empathy is heavily influenced by tone. A smooth, reassuring tone helps a discussion slow down, remain calm, and facilitate rational discussion. Tone impacts how something is said, so it lands softly with the recipient. What is said is a second component to empathy, and emotional labels are a powerful tool for use. Years ago, the FBI developed the Behavioral Change Stairway Model (BCSM) for effectively navigating crisis and hostage negotiations. One of the communication tools of the BCSM includes emotional labels. Put simply, emotional labeling is communicating to another what emotion they’re displaying. If the emotion is clear, one might say, “You’re feeling [emotion] about this.” If it’s not as obvious, a label might begin with “it seems like,” “it sounds like,” or “it looks like.” Labels are effective because they show that the subject’s communication is being heard and listened to. They’re a means to demonstrate understanding. Even mislabels are useful because they’ll likely be corrected, at which time the information received may be empathized with.
What commonly happens is individuals will try and relate to another in some regard by talking about themselves or their own perspective. They’ll say things like “I understand,” “I’m sorry you’re upset,” or “I get it.” These kinds of statements are sympathetic, not empathetic. In fact, it’s not unusual for these kinds of statements to further frustrate people during conflict.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that a large part of empathy is the tone of communication. It can be challenging to know what is right to say in some circumstances. An empathetic tone can sometimes make a larger impact than what specific words are said. When individuals feel heard and understood, they’re less inclined to become defensive. Rational discussion can occur.
With practice and training, empathetic communication can be developed. The benefits can’t be overstated. When people feel understood, conflict can dissolve, potential violence can be avoided, relationships can be improved, customers can feel satisfied, and the list goes on. Empathy is central to safe and professional workplaces.
