How Listening to Others Promotes the Aims of Violence Prevention

By: Jake Newton, MA – Chief Operations Officer for CPPS (Center for Personal Protection & Safety)

 In Volume 13, Edition 6[i] of Workplace Violence Today, published in November 2023, I described the connection between empathy and a safe, professional workplace.  A key undergirding to this is the fervent desire individuals have to be heard and understood.  And while empathy, when considered as a skill, is a key aspect to individuals feeling understood, listening precedes it.  Listening may be one of the cheapest, most powerful concessions available during conversation, conflict, and the like.  Simple as it may be, listening shows to be difficult for many—a study performed by Psychological Associates[ii] found that 75% of managers exhibit ineffective listening skills. Interestingly, employees that feel heard are 4.6 times more likely to feel empowered to perform their best work[iii].  From a violence prevention perspective, the ability to listen is critical for a couple notable reasons.  (1) All individuals need to feel empowered to report concerns, and (2) the ability to listen is critical for receiving information and/or properly responding to concerns when present.  Educating employees on how to effectively listen to others creates a culture of communication and promotes better violence prevention.

Simple But Not Easy

Listening is a simple concept but seems to be difficult for many.  When emotions are high, it is common for listening to decrease. This may be attributed to the desire to be right or seeking to be understood first, rather than seeking to understand first.  In other words, one’s motive in a conversation affects one’s ability to listen[iv].  If the motive is to be correct or to be understood first, a natural inclination can be interrupting another or waiting for the next opportunity to speak with little or no consideration for the person’s thoughts and emotions.  Conversely, an intent to understand creates openness and genuine interaction with what is being shared.  The focus shifts to “getting it right” rather than “being right”.  There are many kinds of fallout from not listening to others.  For example, individuals that do not feel they will be listened to may not be inclined to report or share information about someone who might be struggling and/or progressing toward potential violence.

Active Listening

Listening is more than simply hearing what someone else has to say.  It requires contemplation and interaction from their perspective.  It is an active process and a skill that can be developed with training and practice.  While effective listening does include allowing someone to get their thoughts and/or frustrations out, there are practical gestures to facilitate listening.  Letting someone vent can create “psychological air”—meaning, reducing internal tension and heightened emotion by simply getting out what is inside.

In addition to giving the person space to communicate, active listening involves responding to what is shared.  When responding, the focus should be on what they communicated rather than sharing personal perspective, opinions, etc.  In other words, a response might include asking thoughtful questions based on what was shared to further understand.  Alternatively, it may include restating what was shared back to the person to confirm understanding.  It could also include identifying the emotion they’re feeling about the matter to begin developing an empathetic connection.  There are many ways to actively listen, but the key to the process is seeking to understand versus seeking to be understood.  As the esteemed Larry King, once said: “I never learned anything while I was talking”.

Non-Verbal Considerations

When another person is speaking, non-verbal cues also indicate how the information is being received.  A closed off posture, looks of judgment, frustration, or defensiveness can signify that communication is not welcome.  A sincere demeanor and non-judgmental attitude promote an accepting environment for communication.  It shows in body language that seeking to understand is the focus.  If someone perceives that their behavior or viewpoints need to be “fixed”, they may shut down, communication may deteriorate, and opportunity for problem-solving dissipates. Viewpoints may be different but listening can still occur.  A time for listening is not a time for correction or fixing.

When there’s trust, there’s greater openness to suggestion.  Listening develops rapport and trust. This is partly why sharing advice or simply waiting to respond commonly does not go well when someone is expressing their feelings—they want to be heard, understood, and then, when trust is developed, problem-solving can occur.

Conclusion

Active listening is a powerful tool that can positively impact workplace culture and violence prevention efforts.  Individuals can nurture the ability to effectively listen with practice and training.  An environment that values perspective and speaking up can create opportunity for concerns to be revealed, and therefore, dealt with. 

[i] Workplace Violence Today < https://www.calameo.com/read/004311376f197a01607bb >

[ii] Psychological Associates < https://www.q4solutions.com/insights/leaders-dont-listen/ >

[iii] Salesforce < salesforce-research-2017-workplace-equality-and-values-report.pdf (sfdcstatic.com) >

[iv] Weistein et al < https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/spc3.12651 >